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Goodbye Pitt Bull…

Dear Reader,

I called my parents as I try to do at least twice a week. The news they had was not wonderful, not that all they say must be filled with wonder and rainbows. Their dog, who had been in the family since he was a baby, had passed away.  He was just a little over 15 years old. It is amazing how time flies.

He looked so full of life the last time I saw him, I can hardly believe he is no longer with us. He died of old age, as not too long ago he was given a clean bill of health. It was a sad day for the family as to us, pets are family and they are missed as such.

He was an American Pitt Bull Terrier. I know in general some dog breeds have a bad reputation. However, Chico was the biggest baby around, who would not hurt a fly. That is unless, you jumped the fence to the backyard, or tried to hurt anyone. He was quite a character, very playful and loving. I will miss the ways he almost acted like a playful cat, as though he forgot how big he was, or even how he would get on mom’s shoulders and she would sing to him and he would walk forward, it almost seemed like he was dancing.

He will be greatly missed. I know I certainly will miss seeing his playful face welcome me when I visit.

Hold your family pet, enjoy their company, because they are a blessing that brings smiles even when smiling is the hardest thing you can do.

Until the next post. Live, Learn and Enjoy.


That moment when…

Dear Reader,

Ever been on the phone with someone and you get put on hold? Then it’s endless minutes of elevator music or just dead air. Well that happened to me almost a week ago, mom was walking around the house, and doing a lot of things at once. She thought she had placed me on hold, but missed the button by a mile. It was then that I heard something extremely hurtful. Not that I have not heard my sister put her foot in her mouth before, but this time, it really hurt.

She said the most awful things about me, I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware I am not the most stellar individual, however, I am not overall a rotten apple to the core. Well, she also expressed similar thoughts about mother as I later found out.

So you see when it rains, it really pours, today for instance I found out I was added to the restricted section of Facebook. You know that amazing little bit of technology that allows you to have friends on Facebook, yet they can only read what you made specifically public. Ah yes, I am on that list. Here I am, just in a small way wondering why. I mean, I did express my opinion and while it was not a good opinion, it landed me in the penalty box so to speak. The weird thing is, I thought all was well and all the bridges mended and apologies accepted and what not. So if that is, then what was this for? Don’t worry I don’t need an answer to that one. I kindda gotten used to things like that, they have happened 3 times before. First with Jane Doe, then someone named Sarah, long story short. Like immunity. The first time you get a cold, you hurt everywhere and feel like you got run over, the second time slightly less so, by the 3rd time you pretty much only notice the runny nose.

That is the life of me, people can treat me like I’m the bad guy, and want to make me pay for it, but when they fail, I don’t even ask the basic question of “Why?”.  In my sister’s case, we are related and eventually will have to see each other again and act as civil as possible, in other people’s case, I really don’t know. I am a fan of finding answers, but in the most latest case of having things turned upside down when I thought all was well, AGAIN, I think I will let these questions go.  I often said good friendships relationships are worth fighting for, but even the Titanic eventually sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Until next time remember this: “You maybe one person, but for one person you can hold the world entire”

Pleasant Chat…

Dear Reader,

With all the craziness of the last month. I have not only had a wonderful visit from one of my best friends, but also got to spend a lot of time with another best bud of mine. Gosh, I missed communicating with people that understand me. I was reading some quotes today while waiting for my mother to come pick me up, when I came across one that helped me understand a lot of things. I don’t quite remember the exact wording. The spirit of the quote was that true friends, will remain your friends regardless of how much time goes by, they will understand you and accept you exactly as you are. So you know, I feel blessed. There is truly few people aside my mother who get me.

So today I laughed and I joked and I talked. Though, I began to notice something. Well, given my recent visit. I process live chats, emails and blogs far faster and more accurately than say live in person interaction.  It is not until the day is done when it’s short that I think of how it could have gone so much better. Something tells me I should socialize more, but then it’s part of who I am.

That is the subject that occupied my recent chat with my best friend. He still thinks, it’s okay though. See, that brings me back my thoughts I’m not a social butterfly, but I do know people who still find me if not fun, at least not a total bore to hang out with.

On to the holiday. Today is my mother’s birthday. We had planned to hang out together, but she could not make it to pick me up so we rescheduled. I know parental birthdays are important, and I was ready to go though not feeling up to it, as I have allergies and they were acting up. Gladly mom thought it was best to hang out in the weekend so we shall see what that brings. Until then, I should most definitively, finish putting things away here because it still looks like I just moved in.

March, oh how you stress me…

Dear Reader,

Where should I begin? This month, I have had a chance to talk to a lot of my family members from my mom’s side. Holy Internet, is all I can say. The degrees of separation or the actual separation, are becoming dismal at best.

There is a reason I try not to lose myself on social networks and get invested on others updates. Reason, some are funny, others are sad, heartbreaking, shocking or simply unpleasant. With that being said, I got inspired to be more “social”, follow the family posts and even comment back and forth on some. Then one morning, I woke up logged  in; and was as though everyone on my list was a in a competition to shock me, make me sad, or down right tick me off. So I posted my final post for a while “Taking a vacation….”

You would think that was the end of it. It was not, around the weekend I turned off my cell phone. I could not talk to anyone, I had to un-stress my brain and deal with the information overload the first weeks of March had brought me.

In the middle of that sadly wires were crossed, now my inbox is empty. Talk about bad luck huh? However, considering how things have been going on my social life lately I’m not surprised.

Not all is bad though, there is a light at the end of every tunnel and I got mine. It’s called mom and dad, I had a pleasant chat with my parents today. My mother, didn’t know the meaning of a social network vacation because she logged in as me by total accidental necessity of course, she changed to the new UI and she figured log in and out. Log in as someone else, (me) to see if that fixed it, she finally called me. I explained the updates, and she gave up on reverting the changes. There there is always Nolan my cat and a welcomed surprise, Sammy his sister. She has been unusually sweet and adorable with me.

My parents told me to keep my chin up. Oh parents how is it that they can see my sad soul even when I smile like someone just gave me a chocolate cake? Or pets to for that matter, I will never know. My parents are wonderful though, my dad made me laugh today and my mother promised me homemade hot sauce. Oh smiles are coming I can tell!  Until then, MJ music and hope and the two sweetness cats in the world should do the trick.

Not all is bad something awesome always follows a storm I will keep you posted.


Dear Reader,

Today is my sister’s birthday. She is four years my senior. I was suppose to bake a cake for her today, but then like all things, I found out she had a cake already. The poor chocolate cake will have to sit in my cupboard for another day.  I admit I was a little sad, but I figured, it’s not easy to anticipate who will be the one to do all the birthday things before me.  In all fairness, it’s not like she broke with tradition, after all this was the first time I would bake her a cake, to be honest I like the one she got better.

I won’t be seeing her today as I spend the day with my parents yesterday and I’m still recovering from the noise and the busyness of that house. I always characterized myself as someone who can multitask however, when it comes to my parents’ house where my sister still lives with her kids and husband, is way too much activity for my brain to handle.

I have yet to wish her happy birthday, but is not because I’m rude, it is simply that my sister and myself are not that close. In fact, growing up we were like water and oil most of the time.  As adults now we have agreed to disagree. We are at least civil with each other and no unnecessary praises need be given.

I do wish her well though each and ever day; but all the ado of the last three days, has drained my resolve to party.

Growing up with her while not pleasant at times, it had it’s good times too. Like the first time I wore make up, or my first day at middle school and finally my high school graduation. She was there celebrating with me.

Today has a sad undertone to it as well. 14 years ago today, I attended the funeral of my very best friend Martin. I remember all through his wake, hoping it was all a joke and he would get up and laugh about how he had pulled off the ultimate scare. I kept that hope alive, up until the moment I saw his casket slowly drop down to it’s final resting place.  I guess, that was one of my many reasons not to be in such a jolly party mood.

I have yet to master taking the good in with the bad, and making the best of both. We get older with each passing second, so I guess sometime next week, I will wish her happy so many years plus a week of life. After all every second of life should be celebrated and cherished because they are moments that will never return.


Happy Birthday to Mom…

Dear Reader,

Today is a very special day, my mom’s birthday her age, will remain a mystery, but lets just say it’s a milestone.  I’m so happy to be blessed with sharing one more year of her life with her.  She is the most special person you will ever have the honor and blessing to meet. I know we all say that about our parents, but to me it rings true.

She has been through hell and back more times than I care to count and still remains smiling and seeing the good in ever single thing. Today was a bittersweet birthday because my father was not there.  So we visited him a bit, but all in all I think she was happy to have all her kids with her.

Today, was a milestone for her in more ways than one. All her kids are grown and on their path.  Looking at it all from the outside I think she has done an outstanding job.  She helped us through our trials and tribulations, held our puzzle pieces together through our doubts and frustrations, she was there.

My mother is my rock and the person I wish to be like everyday of my life. In celebration of this grandiose day, I dedicate to her a song:

I love you mom, thank you for keeping my head up to the sky.

To the hospital…

Dear Reader,

Yesterday as you may or may not know was Father’s Day.  I was planning to go home to my parents for a visit and of course, I also had planned to bake a cake.  For some reason the cake idea never got off the ground.  I did see my mother though, and my brother too.  However, it was not in as happy a circumstance as I figured.  My father is in the hospital, he has been there since Saturday night. He has… actually I’m not quite sure what he has, I do know, it’s not looking good as he has been unable to come back home; and won’t be home for another week or so. Point being, it’s not quite as cheery visiting one’s parents in the hospital.  He looked happy though, which is odd for being in a hospital room. None the less if you can smile the place matters not as much as the company in it.

I was thinking if I should be falling apart about now, but if I’m thinking about it, then I’m sure I can keep in one piece.  It’s amazing how much things change in a day to day basis.

We are almost half way done with this year and already I seen and lived through enough gray days to last me a lifetime. Year of  the Dragon after all, they are never easy.

This song always brings a smile to my face, regardless how many shades of gray I see, the sun shines eventually.

Just smile….

Dear Reader,

These past few days, I have learned a new thing which probably most of us know.  Here is what I have learned, when you do things, that you don’t like doing but you must do them anyway, they seem to drag on like watching the entire four hours of Titanic in slow motion.  Not cool.  I’ve also learned that if you do them with a smile and a cordial comment here and there they seem to go by much faster.

Usually I would have some very boring task to do and I usually would spend more time debating it than actually doing it. Thus it would take forever, and I’d end up more upset because of the time wasted.  Having said this, you would think I never waste time.  On the contrary, I have a PhD in wasting time. *Laughs at self* Is just that sometimes doing something else seems more important. This admission however does not apply to where a job would be concerned, when it comes to actual work I’m on task and loving it.  It is my idle time that I waste.  So maybe, I should consider everything work, that way it gets done.  Interesting, wouldn’t I then have more idle time?  See it’s an endless circle.

Here is wishing you all well across the waters.

On the bus…

Dear Reader,

Times like yesterday make me wonder why I never learned to drive.  I tried learning at 16 (my daddy’s proudest moment). Now that I think about it considering that I put the car in reverse without holding the break and it going very fast on reverse was probably plenty a red face moment for him too. Needless to say, I gave up trying after that scare. Tried again at 18, 21, 23. No dice, I can remember details upon details. I’m pretty smart and a fast learner too, but when it comes to driving, one thing is knowing the book like the back of my hand and another very different one, is actually putting all that into action. To me a car has a mind of it’s own. So here is to hoping next time I sit at the driver seat I succeed.

The bus ride yesterday was refreshing and surprisingly peaceful.  The hellish weather didn’t bother me, after all we do have the best public transport this side of the U.S. it’s quite a treat.  I got to see many buildings and it was like seeing a child hood pass by.  I remember those building from being in the back seat as  my dad was driven to work. Now here I was an adult, and the buildings still there, giving you a very early nineties feel.

I got to see many different people in the bus, and I wondered where they were headed, where they came from.  I thought about many things. Specially where I am headed in my life.   All I can say is yesterday was the first solid step in the right direction, and while sometime I may take up learning to drive again, I will take the bus from time to time for days like yesterday.

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