Monthly Archives: August 2013

Visitors and Random Bits…

Dear Reader,

I was suppose to have visitors to my house today. Mom and other family members were to drop by so we could spend the day together, but somehow, it all fell through, and of course I was left waiting needlessly. My mother got so busy she forgot to call and cancel all plans. Totally not cool.

Maybe it’s Karma, but nothing seems to be going right these past two months. See told you I’m not a nice person. Oh well as they say, “this too shall pass”. As usual mom read my past entry and spend a good part of the late afternoon reminding me I have more friends.

So let me clarify. I have one Ultimate friend, you know the one person I would trust with my deepest darkest secrets and such. Then I have Old Friends, those that if they call you ten years later is like time has not passed. Then there is the regular friends, of those I have quite a few, in fact, about five. Then there is people I just know.  I had to explain that to mom, she think anyone that you known for a long time is a friend all others just people you know. My sophisticated categorizing was too much for her.

So with that being said, the visit of today went south quick. I’m not exactly sad about it, as I am not quite comfortable entertaining guests. I can deal with one person two max at a time but the four or five would drown me if the expression fits.

On the update for today, even though I’m not exactly one with nature, I’ve gone out again, it’s becoming quite a habit, I almost memorized the layout of my complex go me.

To answer the random question of my past entry, I should say if I could see anything of space the sky and such, it would have to be the Northern Lights, or a similar thing over Alaska, that would be marvelous.

Now for the random question of today:

What is your ultimately favorite smell?

Oh I also came up with a new thing of the day. The phrase of the day. Did you know that everyday you hear something that makes an impact, makes you laugh or you just tend to remember said thing longer? Well, in this case the phrase of the day or rather quote of the day comes from me.

“Without further ado”

I guess I should explain huh? Well you see, today I made someone laugh, when I said it, it was during a phone call. I know the phrase was not invented my moi, but it’s something I said, it made someone’s day.

Remember no matter how dark your days, the sun is bound to rise again someday, so keep your head up and smile.

 

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Foreign…

Dear Reader,

I spent the day watching movies, mostly Korean movies. I like the language and some bits, I already understand.  The story line is nothing new, but it’s some how refreshing to see it, from their perspective.

I caught myself wondering how I must sound in Spanish to people who only speak English for example, do my words sound as run together as Korean does to me? Perhaps. It was not just he language I wondered about; it is also me as a person. I’ve grown up with so many influences from different parts of the world, that I see myself as a mish mosh of all of them. A really cool one, I might add.

I also felt foreign to my space, like I should be somewhere else. Then, I thought who doesn’t. Life has it’s moments, when I wonder what if… yes, there are things I wish I could have done different, things I could have said different, but then I am who I am. As terrible or good a person as I can be, I am perhaps, the most forgiving one I know. Take my friends for instance, I have known some for over ten years, over those years we have stepped on each others toes, and even stopped calling. Yet, if my phone were to ring, I’d be answering it gladly. To some the concept is foreign, or pathetic. Take your pick. Either way, that’s me.

I’m pretty much like an indoor cat, the concept of going out into nature is very new to me, I’ve never been fully comfortable going out and being one with nature. I tried though, just a few days back, and been trying ever since, pretty cool, is just not my thing, as I told mom, “Face it I’m a geek, I am at peace when in front of the PC screen”. She has come to accept that. She always, tried telling me, “you should take a page off XYZ’s book, he goes out, he gets on his bike, he lets the sun hit him in the face once in a while”. Yes, my mother thinks the world of the only friend I got left. Lately, though she has been cutting me some slack, even tries to talk about my PC projects, which lately have been put on hold for lack of inspiration.

Yes, the real world is wonderful, and even though more often than not it’s the road not taken, that does not mean I don’t know how it works. The perk of being an observer, bystander or whatever you call it, is that I get to know people very well so far. I will let you know when “very well” becomes “so so”. Until then and for a while it seems, you are my only recipient. That being said, since I have no one to share my random questions of the day I will ask you.

Random question time, If you could see anything out in space, planets stars galaxies, and see them well, in all their glorious detail which would you pick?  I will let you know my answer tomorrow. Remember, it’s good to be sad, but it’s even greater to be filled with Joy.

I’ve Fallen…

Dear Reader,

Ever hear the expression, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”?  Well, today that happened to me literally. I fell to the floor on a walk, it’s been a while since I hit the floor that hard. I guess, part of it was it caught me my surprise, I really don’t know if I tripped on my feet or on the floor itself or I just lost balance. The point is one minute there I was enjoying my walk getting to know nature and you know running errands. The next I was on the floor on my hands and knees, trying to figure it all out. I got up, and continued walking. Dust it off and try again as they say.

It was not until I got home, and the adrenaline of the occasion had ceased to flow, that I saw the extent of my injuries. I had a bump below my knee that by now is turning colors as all bruises do. I scrapped my right foot, and judging by the pain in my left wrist as I type this I think most of my left arm broke my fall.

Today was definitively not my day. Tomorrow I have another chance to start out great and end that day the same way.

Why the positive outlook, you ask? Quite simple. I have a choice, I can drown in self pity, I can I can feel bad about the days I’ve had, or I can smile and hope I can infect the day to come with joy.

To the future and may it be brighter than today. 😀

Hot Summer Days…

Dear Reader,

It’s been very hot these past few weeks. Triple digits, and it looks like it’s not going to get better. Sadly I say because I was about to start going on walks I tried it, recently and almost passed out on the road it was so hot. I was soaking wet in sweat when I got home.

I had to do laundry today. Every time I get back or go to get the laundry I’m soaking in sweat. So yes, there no doubt a shower in my to do list very soon. There is a plus side to all this, I have this sun kissed look about me, I’m thrilled about.  You see, I lived in this climate more often than not in my lifetime, yet I still looked as pale as Bella in “Twilight”. No, I’m not a fan of the franchise, but I could not help making the comparison. Those days of pale as a vampire are gone. Sun kissed face here I come.

Just had to share that with you because I thought, hmmm, who else would care about things like that right.

Until my next post. Stay positive, smile and look at the world with a  fresh set of eyes.

Words of my mother….

Dear Reader,

I have always known my mother is a very wise person. Yesterday, long after I gotten home from my walk, she IMs me to ask me, “Clao,clao CC, are you okay? Is something bugging you? You wanna talk about it?” Of course it shocked me a bit, she usually just calls and very subtle like works out my troubles. So I call her and asked why the message. She said, “Here I was, focusing on my day and the things I have to do, and you just kept popping up in my head so I figured something was not right, wanna talk about it”?

So of course, I told her about how a recent conversation went the good and the bad of the things that I said, and the not so joyful ones I learned, and was told. She sat there silent for a good ten minutes: Then she said, since it takes you a while to let it sink in, turn on your sound recorder and listen carefully to what I’m about to tell you:

“Just because you never have anything nice to say where a girl you don’t know is concerned, does not mean you are wrong. You have not been wrong yet, you know people far better than anyone I know.

Good qualities on people are like the words, “I love you”. Just because you know someone loves you loads, does not mean you don’t like to hear it sometimes.

So while you may see their bad side first, focus on their good side more, that is ultimately how you bring out the good in people.

Best friends forever child, are those that take what you say good or bad, and they accept it. They analyze it. They keep it in mind. They are then as happy with you as though you’ve given them the key’s to a Ferrari; because best friends forever love you for your vices as well as your virtues.

She is also not the fan of the expression “you have no right” according to her when you know someone for a long time, you tend to know them better than they are willing to admit, and because you know them perhaps better than you know yourself is not a matter of having the right to express good or bad feelings, however, you do have an implied freedom to say things as they come out and hope they took the best out of it. She of course, said that if I still was under 18, she would ground me for not focusing on the good side and leaving my personal opinions out of it as much as possible. Since she can’t, she figures that the inevitable silent treatment, I’m going to get, is deserved.

Moral of the story, get the full story before, you decide. If the full story is not possible, then danm it, get it out or hold your thoughts.

Just so you know, I do tend to express negativity when a girl is concerned. I have met ones with good qualities before, but I figured hey they know their good no need to point it out, guess I should start huh?  Most definitively.

A Day at the Park…

Dear Reader,

Last night I had one of those dreams, the kind you remember for a long, long time.  I was at a park like place. There were swings in it but nothing else, benches and green grass as far as the eye could see, Many winding pathways, it was gorgeous. I was there sitting on the swings, and suddenly my friend Martin walked up and sat on the swing set next to me.  He was thin and older looking, still wearing that smile that made anyone’s day a bit brighter.

He looked at me and said, “Hey stranger, you look like you could use a friend”.  I looked at him and replied, “That obvious? There is no one around though, I thought they all would come”.  He smiled and said, “Oh sweetie, I told him not to come, I figured you need a one on one”. “Very funny, Martin”.  I replied. He said, “I try to be”. After a while of silence and looking at the ground, I looked up and asked. “Martin, why did you go?”  “It was my time”.  He said.

We both walked for a while talking about something, but he was comforting, I could not hear what it was but it felt comforting.  The last thing, I heard him say was, “Keep your head up, smile, and remember I’m always around”

He walked away and I woke up.  It’s a superb dream. I woke up really happy.  I wanted, to dance. I see my friends in my dreams almost always but this one was just him.

I’ve many dreams I will remember always this one is one of them. I like to think that he is watching over me, every now and again at least.

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