There is only so many times people can erase you from their life without even so much as a reason before you realize they are honestly and truthfully trying to get rid of you. Today again, that has happened to me, and I should have realized it before I sent a follow request. I could be driving myself crazy asking inside my head “what did I do wrong?” When in fact it’s apparent that I just get deleted and ignored at a whim with no rhyme or reason. Yes, there are people like that in this world, and I can’t please everyone. I can only hope that things turn out okay.
For those of you who have followed the roller coaster of this blog, do not worry, I’m doing just fine, for the first time in two years I don’t need to know why? I don’t need for things to make sense, nor do I need to wonder what I did wrong, because even if I did something unforgivable, I know I have been forgiving towards those who have crushed me.
There are certain relationship dynamics that I fought so hard to keep only to realize I was the only one taking the punches I’m the only one fighting to keep a house of cards from falling apart. Today I finally have let go of that deck of cards and let them fall where they may. I have no regrets nor resentments, in fact, I’m glad I got to meet and share two years of good and bad. This experience has taught me a lot. I’m still a fool, I will still smile, and I will cry, but I will be okay.
My social life has shrunk and probably will stay that way for a long time, but I’m okay. I’ve very good at being alone I take those times to see world around me and capture as many good memories as I can gather, for someday I will have show and tell and with all I seen I’m sure it will be an interesting ride through memory lane.
If ever I wronged someone, I sincerely apologize. I’ve only been in this world for 30 years, I’m bound to make mistakes, so if losing friendships along the way it’s my karmic retribution, then so be it. All wrongs come with a price, but I’m sure I will do better the next time around. Life is short. live and let die.