I realized that my sunny disposition and smile are not contagious. Not to everyone anyway. I guess since I never hard, a flourishing circle of friends, I’ve never had to make anyone smile but me. I laugh and I cry, that’s life. Sometimes, my soul feels tired. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel in this hardship called life and sometimes I do. I am only human after all. I try to look at things from more than one angle. If someone is sad, I try my best to make them smile, but then I also want to leave them alone. Give them space. “Just be you”, I’ve been told. but If I am me in the process of cheering up someone that is what I do, then all I have to do is wait. The waiting for things to get back to the way they were is the most trying test of my patience.
Sometimes I think that next lifetime will be better. Then lately as I hear that thought in my head, I realized something. Why wait for things to be better next go around. Let us smile now. Let us be happy now. Let us see the sun is behind all that gray sky. Why wait for the next go around if you do. You miss out of many happy moments in the process.
In a random thought of happiness, I’ve had yesterday. What if everyone was happy, what if everyone was content with their place in life. What then? What comes after? It’s like finally getting my chocolate cake on my 5th birthday. I admit the build up, was awesome and once I got it it was incredible. I enjoy it, but once I ate a slice or two. The magic of it was gone. It’s not like I could eat that entire cake and be happy as ever. Too much of a good thing is bad.
So while I wish all those around me would stop being blue. I understand, that struggle is not only a part of life, it’s a necessity. If we struggle to get a glimpse of the magic that is true joy, the more we enjoy it, the more we have to look forward to when we achieve it. Like all else in life we also must accept to start back at one, each and every time.