Monthly Archives: August 2012
I realized that my sunny disposition and smile are not contagious. Not to everyone anyway. I guess since I never hard, a flourishing circle of friends, I’ve never had to make anyone smile but me. I laugh and I cry, that’s life. Sometimes, my soul feels tired. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel in this hardship called life and sometimes I do. I am only human after all. I try to look at things from more than one angle. If someone is sad, I try my best to make them smile, but then I also want to leave them alone. Give them space. “Just be you”, I’ve been told. but If I am me in the process of cheering up someone that is what I do, then all I have to do is wait. The waiting for things to get back to the way they were is the most trying test of my patience.
Sometimes I think that next lifetime will be better. Then lately as I hear that thought in my head, I realized something. Why wait for things to be better next go around. Let us smile now. Let us be happy now. Let us see the sun is behind all that gray sky. Why wait for the next go around if you do. You miss out of many happy moments in the process.
In a random thought of happiness, I’ve had yesterday. What if everyone was happy, what if everyone was content with their place in life. What then? What comes after? It’s like finally getting my chocolate cake on my 5th birthday. I admit the build up, was awesome and once I got it it was incredible. I enjoy it, but once I ate a slice or two. The magic of it was gone. It’s not like I could eat that entire cake and be happy as ever. Too much of a good thing is bad.
So while I wish all those around me would stop being blue. I understand, that struggle is not only a part of life, it’s a necessity. If we struggle to get a glimpse of the magic that is true joy, the more we enjoy it, the more we have to look forward to when we achieve it. Like all else in life we also must accept to start back at one, each and every time.
Have you ever been so happy to be somewhere? To wake up and feel the sun shines brighter than the day before. It is almost like the world looks beautiful somehow. Then you realize, it is the change of your scenery, somehow you stepped into somewhere. Then the days past you return to your daily life, and you are blue, sad, and the body feels so heavy it’s hard to even type. It’s so difficult to even smile, and everything just seems more difficult to accomplish than it used to be.
If you ever had days like that, then you will understand what I mean. Personally, I have them from time to time. So, I know the last thing anyone wants to hear is, “Get happy, there is no use in being blue”. I say that to my friends too. However, one has to be in their shoes to understand sometimes the blues need to go away on their own.
Take me for instance, all I have to do to smile is hear the words, “I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! and guess what’s inside it?” Then add some Michael Jackson to mix and you got a happy girl in your hands. For others is not that simple, the blues can take weeks months and sometimes even a year or so.
I know this much though, there is no mood that last 100 years, and no body that can stand it. At least that is what my mother always tells me and she is wise, thus I have to believe that in the end happy days win. When I’m blue, I write, I feel inspired, and I just let the inspiration flow like it’s never ending.
So in the end you see even great things come out of bad days. You look back at them and being happy feels so much more rewarding, I guess, that is why they say, happiness is best appreciated by those who have cried.
Maybe it’s because I’m a creature of habit, and I’m very sensitive to when things change, and things must always change. Only a few days ago. I received a really happy offline, that promised a possible chat would be in my future. Well ever since then it’s been strange. The little interaction seems to be terse and to the point felt almost like an obligation. So… unlike the usual. I guess is just one of those days.
I had one of those days yesterday. It rained like never before with thunder and lighting. If you don’t know by now I’m deadly afraid of thunder and lighting, yet I love rain what a contradiction. So I had to put up that for about 30 minutes, it’s not an exaggeration by any means, it was so bad that car alarms went off every time.
On top of that mom was having issues with something, and I found out another tech issue had taken place with a site, I was to build the stress level was not helping. I’ve had dreams which actually reflect all that stress and just general bad vibe around me lately. One had Hitler in it and the other had rain clouds, and the latest had the Titanic in it. Go figure.
So I guess what just took place this morning should have been no surprise. I know Yahoo has connection issues from time to time, and still I cannot shake the fact that maybe, just maybe, if Yahoo Messenger was a phone, I get the feeling I got hang up on. Then I think, what could be so bad as to deserve hanging up on someone or in my case people logging off mid conversation? Your guess is as good as mine. So much for really wanting to chat huh? Okay so it was not mid conversation in fact, it was not much of a conversation just a bunch of, “yes, ok”. Then “Yahoo User is Now Offline”.
When I log off on people it’s usually because of a bad day. I hoping the day gets better until then. This girl is going to get some rest and not obsess over things I cannot change, deal with things that do and enjoy all in between.
Today, I had a London kind of day. The day was overcast, and extremely windy. I cherished the moment and for a while there I thought maybe this was a gift from someone greater than me. I know it sounds crazy; but I had a wonderful moment last night before I closed my eyes.
It’s one of those few moments were I was flooded by happy promises to myself, happy prayers or whatever you wanna call them; and for a moment there I got goose bumps, not bad goose bumps. It’s hard to explain, I felt as though God, or Martin or someone greater than myself was watching over me cheering me on, saying, “you go girl, that is your path take that direction to reach your reason for being here”. I went to sleep so very happy. I felt as though if there is a Heaven, that is what happiness would feel like for all eternity.
So now you must be wondering, how can a windy overcast day like those in London feel like a gift? Well, I live in one of those parts of the world where days like that are very rare, in fact, you can go a whole year without noticing one sometimes. I love windy overcast days as much as rain, they are among my favorite things in the whole world, right up there with Coca-Cola, and Chocolate Cake.
Maybe is the having faith, and skeptic realists can call it simply weather; but I really felt as I rarely do, that something or someone was listening and was watching over me. Like that something I used to have in my life as a child has never left, and I been so preoccupied with trying to fit in my age, that I simply ignored it. Well not anymore.
From this day forward, I will lighten my load, I will let go of the things I cannot fix. Take joy in the things that I can, and know, that there is something deep inside everyone of us to let us know the difference.
Mexico has participated in the Olympics in one way or another since the 1900 Olympic games. I been trying to figure out when was the first time it officially sent a soccer team to the Olympic games though I could not find a straight answer. Thus, I will let the title of this post stand.
I did some digging into Mexico’s glory days of soccer and there was nothing impressive there in. So today is absolutely one for the history books. For it was the first time Mexico ever got a medal of any kind in the Olympic games for soccer. They got the gold! About time, I say. I hope this translates into a World Cup worthy team. They also never gotten the World Cup
I will not lessen the joy of Mexico beating Brazil at the Olympic games much, however, their victory sounded less shocking when I found out it was the first time in 24 years that Brazil made it to the finals. I wold have been more impressed if they had beat Argentina, as they won the gold in 2004 and 2008. I do see, however, that it is impressive as Brazil tends to be the team to beat at the World Cup more often than not. Victory none the less.
I missed the game, and I blame the horrible days past for it, I took today to recharge my batteries, and I realized I missed a moment in history about as significant as The Giants winning the World Series for San Francisco for the first time ever! Though I was awake for that one and cheering on like a loud sports fan at the stands.
Here is hoping for more historic moments coming my way, and may I be awake to see them.
Just when we think, things could not get any worse they do. For instance, my air conditioner breaking at exactly four pm yesterday. That was many, many shades of horrible. I been there, done that three or four times. Each time though I manage to retain my sanity for a while longer the last.
This time, I called the front office and try as they did they could not get anyone here in time for my AC to get fixed. So we spent the night in another unit was an exact replica of mine. Yet no one not even my cats felt comfortable one bit. Nothing to do but read, and read I did, I got done with most of a Conan Doyle chapter. Awesome stuff. I was about to celebrate, that it had gone better. When I discovered a huge message delay on my Generation One smart phone. To make matters worse auto correct was not doing me any favors. Once I discovered what it said was not at all what I meant to say, I made it part of the conversation, like I meant to type it for a laugh. Talk about wrong thing wrong time.
It all got sorted out just hours ago though. All is right in the world. I wiped my cell back to factory settings so is just a cell phone now, but that is all I need, after all, the convenience of the apps, has proven more trouble than it’s worth.
I did do something for the first time today though, I went to church which is just down the street from me, and to my surprise I was the only person under forty there at that particular time. I caught the leg end of a service and left. Something tells me going to church is not as popular as it used to be.
I’m thinking of going again Sunday, but I gather it won’t see much difference. Other than that, I almost played chess with one of the tenants in the lobby, but it’s either the nights ill sleep or the fact the it was hotter than hell, but I was in no mood for games.
Finally the AC got fixed by maintenance turns out no professional was required and the fix took less than ten minutes. You live and learn daily. Now I know what to say next time this happens as it has happened twice it is not a matter of if, but when.
Until that happens I will enjoy the cool AC driven 74 degrees of goodness.
When there is a knock at the door our first reaction is to open it. Sometimes we do it so often, we forget to exercise caution. Looking or asking who it is before we open the door. Is a mistake easy to make especially when like me, one lives in a gated community. Eventually, after sometime we get folded into this false sense of security; like no one will be at our door unless they belong there.
This morning, I was woken by knock on the door. It was about five AM. I looked at my clock radio and decided, maybe yet again they mistaken my door for that of my neighbor. So I thought, they will eventually get tired of knocking. In my tired scale I say, four or five knocks does the trick. The knocking continued, incessantly. My door, my windows, my neighbors’ doors and windows, then back to my apartment again. I wanted to march straight to the door and say,
“Hello, you obviously have the wrong door, clue one, no one opened, I’m trying to sleep. Your relentless knocking is making it impossible. So make like a tree and leave!”
In case you have yet to guess, I get cranky when I am rudely awakened by anyone who finds it entertaining to make me up at such a time as five in the morning specially when my head has been resting on the pillow less than an hour. I of course, opted against it, because that would be rude, so instead I had someone else check, who unlike me had the sense to check the peep hole, and did not recognize the person. Suddenly it hit me. It’s a crazed maniac, this could have turned ugly. As soon as the person noticed motion in my flat, he knocked even louder on my bedroom window. Then knocked on my neighbors house, and jiggled the lock. (I have very good hearing). Then it occurred to me. 911, I was about to grab my cellphone, but couldn’t find it, looked for it a few minutes. When I found it I peeked through the crack in the blinds, and the cops were already there. I learned my neighbor called them. On the one hand, you can say it’s hysteria, well it wasn’t.
Later I learned from this neighbor the man was drunk out of his mind, and somehow made it from his building about a block or so away from ours to our gated community, trespassed in private property and somehow got up the stairs and decided to have a knock party with my windows and door as well as hers and one other tenants.
Open and shut case, right? Wrong. He was simply released to the custody of his wife. I know I am shocked myself, one could argue case of mistaken building, but I think his first clue that he was in the wrong place was maybe the big iron gate, and to this time, I still fail to see how he made it past the code requiring gate. I guess it was his lucky weekend or something.
Morale of the story, this girl will never open the door to just anyone. Ever! Alcohol makes people do stupid things, this ranks right up there with, what the hell were you thinking?
I’m not a teetotaler, nor do I suggest anyone be, but just like the alcohol commercials tend to remind us after the temptation of their product. Drink responsibly! Responsibly being the keyword there.
What better way to celebrate the birth of the world wide web, than to spend and entire day fighting it. Okay so it was not the web I was fighting exactly, but it’s it’s results after it’s put in the hands of people who don’t know what they are doing, though they would gladly disagree.
So after a pleasant breakfast that I paid for, my mother drops the bomb on me. Her machine had tons of software that was not there before because she wanted to play “Collapse”.
Now, it was not my mother that I was insulting. I want to think that I’ve taught her better than that. I even have her machine working so as to prevent stupid rookie mistakes. No, I had another culprit in mind. My now 14 year old nephew. Who’s only contribution to my life has been disappointment and disrespect. Not only for my self, but his parents and mine.
It turns out my mother wanted in fact to play “Collapse” and what I can only assume was met by haughty over assurance of actual brain cells at work, she blindly trusted him to install, things that had nothing to do with games, nor any useful software.
I tried to impress on my mother the importance of safety online, and also begged for her to tell me the truth. In my quest for the truth I was met with her taking the blame for it all, and my sister’s back up of “Don’t even look at my son”.
They of course fail to notice that while I admit, I am not a computer genius, there was way too much evidence on that hard drive that pointed to only one person. Of course my sister treated me like I was invisible, and wrong about her son’s deed. There is no blinder man than the one that refuses to see. Her body language and attitude hurt, and still do. I was right and she was wrong. Who did mom side with. Her of course.
I don’t mind people treating me like I’m invisible, but somehow, I never expect such a thing from someone who is suppose to lead by example.
I guess they are just lucky I don’t charge for my services, because if I did, they couldn’t afford me. I of course, solved the issue and as far as I know, the computer is up and running like nothing happened. Good for them. I will go back to being invisible, that is until something else needs my touch.