One More Chance…
Yesterday I had something happen which was quite exciting for the first few minutes when it happened, and afterward, I was swallowed up by the deepest sadness, I’ve felt so far this year. My first thought after all the dust settled was, I have no one to tell this little adventure to. It was one of those kitchen accidents which would had made me laugh, if my friend could share it with me. Then I realized aside from my fiancee I can only share such an occurrence with my cat, and the thought made me laugh, but at the same time it gave me a knot on the throat.
I”m not that good at being social. It has also taken me these two weeks to realize making friends, truly connecting with someone, is far more difficult than finding the cure to the common cold. Yesterday, I understood that song titled “One More Chance” there is part of it that says, “hurts so bad sometimes it’s hard to breath”; funny I made that video, and thought it’s for the love brokenhearted. Yet the words about pain also apply to anyone we cared about that is no longer in our lives.
A wise person once told me, there is no pain that last 100 years nor is there a body that can stand it. I want to believe that, I guess today is just one of those days, where like a Jenga puzzle I fall to pieces. I can’t help it, it happens.
Last night I had a very unique dream. I saw a woman, in my dreams, about as old as my mother. Her face has been hunting me all morning. Not that is was an evil face, far from it warm reassuring and full of home feeling. I don’t quite remember where I saw her in my dream. She was reading me the cards, she said, “the person you can’t stop thinking about can’t stop thinking about you either. Is a friend yes? He misses you too, and when all the dust settles in his life he will come back never to leave again”. She said a lot of other things, but I can’t remember them, It was all a jumble of things.
If there was a time, to wish dreams came true I most definitively pick that one. Of all the dreams I’ve had that one is on my top 3. If only dreams did come true.